Happy Columbus Day to the STUPID Italianslike the jackass Frank Guarini who parade around waving Italians flags in honor of an evil, pimpin' lost slave owner whose name wasn't even Columbus. There'll be more Italian American morons in South Philly today climbing up greased poles for salami and celebrating Italian heritage at Marconi Plaza. How the hell do you "discover" a land that is already inhabited by 57 million people? How about the Viking explorer Leif Erikson who was here long before Columbus? Truth be told, (and America doesn't want to hear it) Africans were in North American THOUSANDS of years ago. This whole celebration is tantamount to German Americans celebrating German pride on Adolph Hitler's birthday. This is utter madness.

Cristoforo Columbo was his name. NOT Christopher Columbus. Today's so called Italian American leaders are so lost that they accept and embrace the anglicized version of the man's name. Let me get this straight- they bitch about prejudiced American officials anglicizing the names of Italian immigrants when they entered AmeriKKKa at Ellis Island but turn around and hail the name Columbus?!? Oh wait, I forgot, they're too busy bitching about the "derogatory portrayal" of Italian Americans by The Sopranos.

There are twenty five million Italian Americans in the United States, making them the fifth largest ethnic group. The fact that a group as large as this look to Columbus as a national hero is downright sad. He didn't even represent Italia on his voyages. He pimped himself to the Queen of Spain for crying out loud!!! Is it a point of ethnic pride that a man who was a lost slave owner who introduced disease, rape and murder to millions of Native Americans in the Caribbean, North and South America? If this is the best that Italian Americans have to offer they should collectively hide their faces in shame. Of course this isn't the case...

Gugleilmo Marconi invented modern radio. Alessandro Giuseppe Antonio Anastasio Volta invented the modern battery. The word Volt is derived from his last name. Galileo Galilei invented the thermometer. The piano was created by Bartolomeo Cristofori. Frank Zamboni invented the Zamboni machine that reconditions ice surfaces for skating. For those of us who are Flyers fans, this is probably the most important contribution. Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin, Tony Bennett, Perry Como, Mario Lanza and Luciano Pavarotti are some of the most popular and influential musicians the world has ever seen. Madonna!!! All time great Italian American athletes include Rocky Marciano, Joe DiMaggio, Mario Andretti, Heisman Award winners John Capaletti, Gino Torretta, Vinny Testaverde, Joe Bellino, Angelo Bertelli and legendary coach Vince Lombardi. Martin Scorcese! Even John Travolta! The list goes on and on and on. These are the people that Italian American pride should be centered around, not the infamous lost slave owner.

Right here in our own backyard, the travesty committed by Italians against Native Americans continues. Look no further than Philadelphia's Columbus Boulevard. The local Italian American community pushed hard to have a stretch of Delaware Avenue renamed Columbus Boulevard and won on the strength of their political clout. Emotions were heated when groups of Italian Americans and Native Americans showed up at the same time to show support of or outrage over the proposed change. I participated in the public fiasco and marched with the Native Americans, knowing in my heart that the Delaware were the legitimate inhabitants of what we now call Philly and that not only did Columbus never set foot in Philadelphia, he never even landed in the United States!

If we must be stuck with Columbus Day every year I urge everyone reading this to take responsibility to share the truth about Columbus with other Americans. We have the ability to flip the script and use this day as an opportunity to properly educate. With that in mind my Columbus fact for 2002 is this:

On November 19th, 1493, on his second voyage to the "new world", Columbus landed in Boriken, which in the language of the native Taino Indians meant "land of the great Lords." The estimated 50,000 Taino inhabitants made a costly mistake when they showed Columbus the plentiful gold nuggets in the local rivers and encouraged him to take as much as he wanted. Because of the gold and the future potential of the area, the "settlers" came to call the area Rich Port. Eventually the entire country took on the name Rich Port and gave us what we know better by it's Spanish name- Puerto Rico. The original area that Columbus landed is now known as the city of San Juan (Saint John). In Hip Hop and other aspects of modern life, Puerto Ricans are increasingly referred to as Boricuas. This is in reference to the original name of the island- Boriken. Modern day Puerto Ricans are racially the result of the convergence of the native Taino Indians, the Spanish settlers and their African slaves that they bought to the island.

Share your thoughts on Columbus Day right here

***Holiday Maddness image courtesy of C.A.J.E. Illustration

Article by a proud Italian American
Funk Wizard Snow
Editor- PhillyHipHop.com
October, 2002